A lot of thoughts have been forming in my mind around the idea of what God desires from his people. I've had the privilege of hearing great teaching on the book of Malachi at church and then coupling that with the many times God is described as a *jealous* God. Surely that isn't positive? Haven't we always heard 'jealous' in a negative connotation?
What this does reveal to us about God is that He is worthy of our complete and total allegiance, worship, and devotion. Like a passionate husband in love w/his beloved wife...He wants first place in the heart of his bride. Would we want any less passion from God? Would we want a God content to have our leftovers? Content to be ranked somewhere on our list of loves along w/family, chocolate and pets? No. Of course not. We want a jealous God. A God who loves us w/a passion He is unwilling to share for place #1 in our hearts. I want this jealous God! I want him jealous for me!
As a result of this preeminent position in our hearts and lives, he is NOT content with having our leftovers. Leftover time, leftover energy... leftover money after the bills are paid and that cell phone upgrade finalized...
The book of Malachi really inspires us to take a full inventory of how we offer the Lord our first fruits...our BEST. He's after our hearts remember...being preeminent in our hearts...foremost in our utmost being.... Offering him first fruits with joy is a way we show him that our action is where our mouth is...that our claim of his preeminence in our life is actually backed up by fruit..the best fruit...the fruit fruit.
From Malachi 1:
But you say, ‘How have we despised your name?’ By offering polluted food upon my altar. But you say, ‘How have we polluted you?’ By saying that the Lord's table may be despised. When
you offer blind animals in sacrifice, is that not evil? And when you
offer those that are lame or sick, is that not evil? Present that to
your governor; will he accept you or show you favor? says the Lord of hosts. And now entreat the favor of God, that he may be gracious to us. With such a gift from your hand, will he show favor to any of you? says the Lord of hosts. Oh
that there were one among you who would shut the doors, that you might
not kindle fire on my altar in vain! I have no pleasure in you, says the
Lord of hosts, and I will not accept an offering from your hand. For from the rising of the sun to its setting my name will be great among the nations, and in every place incense will be offered to my name, and a pure offering. For my name will be great among the nations, says the Lord of hosts. But you profane it when you say that the Lord's table is polluted, and its fruit, that is, its food may be despised. But you say, ‘What a weariness this is,’ and you snort at it, says the Lord of hosts. You
bring what has been taken by violence or is lame or sick, and this you
bring as your offering! Shall I accept that from your hand? says the Lord. Cursed be the cheat who has a male in his flock, and vows it, and yet sacrifices to the Lord what is blemished. For I am a great King, says the Lord of hosts, and my name will be feared among the nations.
Then a graphic illustration that leaves us in shock:
“ If you will not listen, if you will not take it to heart to give honor to my name, says the Lord of hosts, then I will send the curse upon you and I will curse your blessings. Indeed, I have already cursed them, because you do not lay it to heart. Behold, I will rebuke your offspring, and spread dung on your faces, the dung of your offerings, and you shall be taken away with it." Malachi 2:3
Did God just say what I think He said? Yes, he did. Yes, it is graphic. I don't even need to comment. He said what he said. He means what He means. He is a mighty, jealous and passionate God for His People. He will have our best or nothing at all.
So what does giving our first fruits look like?
It will look different for each of us...only each person can take stock of how we each are using the time, talents and treasure that God gives us.
One area we do not typically realize is part of our devotion and first fruits is our emotions. Our emotions? How can that be? Well, I was thinking the other day about the things that stir our hearts...especially things that stir our hearts and are expressed in our words and body language. For example: politics....sports...(yes, it's football season!)...our favorite entertainer and how we can be moved to tears by a musical performance.....How does God register on our scale of emotional response? The Creator of all the Universe...who spoke the world and all we see into existence...made you...loves you...sent his Son to die for you. He deserves more passion than any of the loves in our lives. All too often we are afraid to express passionate devotion to God....folks might think we are weird...yet we have no problem expressing our passion for politics or a favorite dancer on Dancin' w/the Stars (a show I am no fan of but know is popular), or the joy in reading the latest NY Times Bestseller....where is our passion for God? "It's in my heart...I just don't show it" is usually the defense that comes...but do we ever use the same reasoning w/love for our family, hobbies, or anything else in life for that matter? Let's just be brutally honest with ourselves.
Some of us are even taught we *shouldn't* show emotions in worship. Feel them yes, but show them, no. :-) That would call attention to ourselves, perhaps be a distraction to those who like things subdued..more in line w/American worship culture (for yes, it is not biblical culture...we see in scripture that worship is highly expressive in human emotion). We might appear worldly...or worse, we might get carried away and start wailing or speaking in tongues...and we all know the verse about doing all things 'decently and in order' (which has been used so out of context over and over that it becomes the 'catch-all' for stamping out pretty much anything we don't like) LOL Well, this was my mindset not so long ago....
....but...as I began to express the passion I felt inside for God, trying to give him first fruits of my emotions, I've realized something. This is exactly why God gave us emotions. He wants our all...including our deepest emotions of awe, joy and praise. Nothing is more beautiful to him that receiving *all of us*. If people think me weird, I'm happy to be weird for God. Bring on the raised eyebrows and stares. I'll take note of how they look/speak/carry on during their favorite show or sports event, then we'll talk. ha ha ha...
He is our Jealous God. I wonder how he feels to see us more carried on the wings of joy and elation by superficial non-important things in this life than by his Son who He gave for us. It's something to think about. I wonder which offerings he wishes to smear my face with. I have to contemplate this if I am to take inventory of my offerings before him.
From I Chronicles 16: 28-34
"Ascribe to the Lord, O families of the peoples,
ascribe to the Lord glory and strength!
Ascribe to the Lord the glory due his name;
bring an offering and come before him!
Worship the Lord in the splendor of holiness;
tremble before him, all the earth;
yes, the world is established; it shall never be moved.
Let the heavens be glad, and let the earth rejoice,
and let them say among the nations, “The Lord reigns!”
Let the sea roar, and all that fills it;
let the field exult, and everything in it!
Then shall the trees of the forest sing for joy
before the Lord, for he comes to judge the earth.
Oh give thanks to the Lord, for he is good;
for his steadfast love endures forever!"
May we offer Him...Sovereign God of all the Universe.... our all and may He alone receive the First Fruits of ourselves. To Him be the glory forever...amen.
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
Sunday, October 20, 2013
Something Worth Dying For
Just finished reading a bit about Church history, specifically the stories of key individuals throughout the centuries...many of whom endured harsh persecutions and even death. It's hard to take in...to even attempt to grasp the reality of stories whose main character is not only real and as normal as you and I...yet they had to face unspeakable horror. Torn apart by lions, burned alive at stacks, tortured, killed by sword...some made to watch as their children, and spouse were killed before them. Horror beyond anything the modern American mind can comprehend. It's disturbing on a level I can hardly bring myself to face.
What did they die for? How could they face this kind of end when, in many cases, all it would have taken to be spared would have been to simply recant. How could they exhibit this kind of courage, strength and resolve when staring unspeakable pain and certain death right in the face? The answer is in the reason they died: They were never alone. The one they were dying for had already **died for them**...The One they so loved, had first loved them. Jesus the Christ already endured suffering, torture, and horrific death...death He could have stopped yet submitted to willingly. Pain he bore, because it was the *only way* to redeem his people. Not only did he die, he defeated death...victorious in the Resurrection giving us a hope and a strength based on the fact that now, we do not have to fear death. Death has been defeated by the one they died for. He who resurrected and ascended to God on high will most certainly resurrect their own dead bodies and bring them to his same glory on high.
In Hebrews 11 in the great Hall of Faith chapter is speaks of those before Christ who died for faith in God in such beautiful words:
... "Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated— of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.
And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect.
Yet as the final line says, God provides something even better for us who came after the cross because we have Christ to look back on...and many have suffered the same kind of end but now for someone who *first died for them*. We even see the souls of those who have died for faith in Christ in scripture in Rev. 6:
"I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the witness they had borne. They cried out with a loud voice, “O Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long before you will judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?” Then they were each given a white robe and told to rest a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and their brothers should be complete, who were to be killed as they themselves had been."
God never promises that if we have faith we will prosper and no evil shall befall us...that is a lie of Satan. In fact, in the last line of the Revelation passage there, there it is in black and white. More will be called to die for faith.
What can we learn from those who the Spirit worked so powerfully in that they could face what they did?
The biggest lesson I learn is this: The same Spirit at work in them to enable them to face such things, also lives in me...lives in you....indwells and seals securely all who are His people. We have the same Lord, the same Truth to look to. We have faith that if the same circumstances should befall us, we too could face it. Not by any strength or goodness of our own...but because of Him who works within us to 'will and to do of his good pleasure'. Because of the One who first loved us...who first died for us...who defeated death for us...we too have something, SOMEONE worth dying for...worth our *everything* and more.
To God be the Glory forever and ever, amen.
What did they die for? How could they face this kind of end when, in many cases, all it would have taken to be spared would have been to simply recant. How could they exhibit this kind of courage, strength and resolve when staring unspeakable pain and certain death right in the face? The answer is in the reason they died: They were never alone. The one they were dying for had already **died for them**...The One they so loved, had first loved them. Jesus the Christ already endured suffering, torture, and horrific death...death He could have stopped yet submitted to willingly. Pain he bore, because it was the *only way* to redeem his people. Not only did he die, he defeated death...victorious in the Resurrection giving us a hope and a strength based on the fact that now, we do not have to fear death. Death has been defeated by the one they died for. He who resurrected and ascended to God on high will most certainly resurrect their own dead bodies and bring them to his same glory on high.
In Hebrews 11 in the great Hall of Faith chapter is speaks of those before Christ who died for faith in God in such beautiful words:
... "Some were tortured, refusing to accept release, so that they might rise again to a better life. Others suffered mocking and flogging, and even chains and imprisonment. They were stoned, they were sawn in two, they were killed with the sword. They went about in skins of sheep and goats, destitute, afflicted, mistreated— of whom the world was not worthy—wandering about in deserts and mountains, and in dens and caves of the earth.
And all these, though commended through their faith, did not receive what was promised, since God had provided something better for us, that apart from us they should not be made perfect.
Yet as the final line says, God provides something even better for us who came after the cross because we have Christ to look back on...and many have suffered the same kind of end but now for someone who *first died for them*. We even see the souls of those who have died for faith in Christ in scripture in Rev. 6:
"I saw under the altar the souls of those who had been slain for the word of God and for the witness they had borne. They cried out with a loud voice, “O Sovereign Lord, holy and true, how long before you will judge and avenge our blood on those who dwell on the earth?” Then they were each given a white robe and told to rest a little longer, until the number of their fellow servants and their brothers should be complete, who were to be killed as they themselves had been."
God never promises that if we have faith we will prosper and no evil shall befall us...that is a lie of Satan. In fact, in the last line of the Revelation passage there, there it is in black and white. More will be called to die for faith.
What can we learn from those who the Spirit worked so powerfully in that they could face what they did?
The biggest lesson I learn is this: The same Spirit at work in them to enable them to face such things, also lives in me...lives in you....indwells and seals securely all who are His people. We have the same Lord, the same Truth to look to. We have faith that if the same circumstances should befall us, we too could face it. Not by any strength or goodness of our own...but because of Him who works within us to 'will and to do of his good pleasure'. Because of the One who first loved us...who first died for us...who defeated death for us...we too have something, SOMEONE worth dying for...worth our *everything* and more.
To God be the Glory forever and ever, amen.
Thursday, August 22, 2013
I Must Break You
I used to be under the mistaken notion that for the Lord to work, He had to have a completely surrendered participant. Somehow the reality of dragging my own kids kicking and screaming into the doctor's office or to clean their room, never enlightened me to the fact that often he works his most powerfully while actually teaching us *how* to surrender, not as a result of it. Surrender, after all, is not merely a mental decision but rather a process of refining over time in any and all life's circumstances. Something that we grow into over a lifetime rather than merely say "Ok, I'm surrendered, that's it, decision made...check".
In my own life it has seemed that he had to break me so that I might grow to a certain level...then he had to break me again to bring me to the next level...over.and.over.again. Painful, but absolutely necessary. If we consider the short 3 year span of Christ's ministry it began with the 40 days of temptation and fasting. He had to experience hunger, pain, spiritual discipline so that it might be later said "He learned obedience by what he suffered". In a sense he had to be broken to begin the ministry that would end in his ultimate brokenness for our salvation...breaking to breaking for God's glory and our ultimate joy.
This is why we identify most with Christ in our sufferings rather than in our pleasures. Very little if any is ever said of the pleasures Christ experienced on earth, much is said for his sufferings. After all, he is our 'suffering Savior'...'bruised and broken' for us.
What a paradox. We must be broken, to identify with our broken Savior and ultimately to be used...in being used we become more broken...in being more broken we grow and are used yet the more...then must be broken again to stretch further still. God's invitation is not to ease and cruising through life with 'nary a care...it is an invitation to be broken...time and time again.
I can only speak from my own personal experiences small and limited as they are but I can say this: in June 2012 if God had sat me down with a proposal for growth on that side of events...outlining the details we would have to walk through... including job loss in a sudden and horrible way, loss of relationships that were precious to us, loss of our home, ultimately loss of our Texas lives I would have told God "Thank you for the invite, but we decline, thank you very much. Thank you for thinking of us, by the way, but we're okay. Really." Yep, we would have declined. Our family was happy and comfortable. The idea that change would happen so fast and so furious would have literally made me throw up. (well, it did in fact, but that's another story. lol) I'm glad God didn't ask me, but did his own thing dragging me kicking and screaming...like a child to a vaccine clinic.
Yes, I thank God for not asking us if we wanted to be broken. He saw we needed it, He saw in the long term the glorious blessings and spiritual destination on the other side. Thank you for breaking us in spite of our unwilling spirits. I can truly say no year in our lives has been filled with more growth, more spiritual blessing as this year has been. If I could be invited to this past year from *this side*, of course I would take it. In fact if someone offered me a BILLION dollars to NOT take it, I'd refuse them. In life however, we have to take those leaps of faith/trust from the unknown side, not the ending side. That is what brokenness and faith are all about.
So what is your story of brokenness? We who believe and are being used and refined have one...or two...or many. Whatever your story is, use it for God's Glory. He invites us to suffer with him. His invitation is this: "I will break you, but it's going to be so worth it". The irony of ironies is the joy, rest and peace we arrive at during life's storms is out of our brokenness. Paradoxical but oh, so true. "I must break you" God says. Let us cry out in reply "Let your will be done and give me your strength to face it...yet I know, **I KNOW**, this will be for my ultimate joy and your glory...let it be done to me according to your divine will...let me be broken..."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpbdK0q-FyY
In my own life it has seemed that he had to break me so that I might grow to a certain level...then he had to break me again to bring me to the next level...over.and.over.again. Painful, but absolutely necessary. If we consider the short 3 year span of Christ's ministry it began with the 40 days of temptation and fasting. He had to experience hunger, pain, spiritual discipline so that it might be later said "He learned obedience by what he suffered". In a sense he had to be broken to begin the ministry that would end in his ultimate brokenness for our salvation...breaking to breaking for God's glory and our ultimate joy.
This is why we identify most with Christ in our sufferings rather than in our pleasures. Very little if any is ever said of the pleasures Christ experienced on earth, much is said for his sufferings. After all, he is our 'suffering Savior'...'bruised and broken' for us.
What a paradox. We must be broken, to identify with our broken Savior and ultimately to be used...in being used we become more broken...in being more broken we grow and are used yet the more...then must be broken again to stretch further still. God's invitation is not to ease and cruising through life with 'nary a care...it is an invitation to be broken...time and time again.
I can only speak from my own personal experiences small and limited as they are but I can say this: in June 2012 if God had sat me down with a proposal for growth on that side of events...outlining the details we would have to walk through... including job loss in a sudden and horrible way, loss of relationships that were precious to us, loss of our home, ultimately loss of our Texas lives I would have told God "Thank you for the invite, but we decline, thank you very much. Thank you for thinking of us, by the way, but we're okay. Really." Yep, we would have declined. Our family was happy and comfortable. The idea that change would happen so fast and so furious would have literally made me throw up. (well, it did in fact, but that's another story. lol) I'm glad God didn't ask me, but did his own thing dragging me kicking and screaming...like a child to a vaccine clinic.
Yes, I thank God for not asking us if we wanted to be broken. He saw we needed it, He saw in the long term the glorious blessings and spiritual destination on the other side. Thank you for breaking us in spite of our unwilling spirits. I can truly say no year in our lives has been filled with more growth, more spiritual blessing as this year has been. If I could be invited to this past year from *this side*, of course I would take it. In fact if someone offered me a BILLION dollars to NOT take it, I'd refuse them. In life however, we have to take those leaps of faith/trust from the unknown side, not the ending side. That is what brokenness and faith are all about.
So what is your story of brokenness? We who believe and are being used and refined have one...or two...or many. Whatever your story is, use it for God's Glory. He invites us to suffer with him. His invitation is this: "I will break you, but it's going to be so worth it". The irony of ironies is the joy, rest and peace we arrive at during life's storms is out of our brokenness. Paradoxical but oh, so true. "I must break you" God says. Let us cry out in reply "Let your will be done and give me your strength to face it...yet I know, **I KNOW**, this will be for my ultimate joy and your glory...let it be done to me according to your divine will...let me be broken..."http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XpbdK0q-FyY
Thursday, August 15, 2013
Losin' *my* Religion
The currently popular pastor David Platt has convicted me more than once about the cost of discipleship. How nothing, *nothing* is worth holding onto if the cost is our radical abandonment to Jesus Christ. What I did not fully understand was that in my own unique case I had to lose 'my religion' in order to gain Christ in the fullness of what it means to love and serve Him alone.
How could I say such a thing? I was raised in the Christian faith....how in the world can I say I had to lose 'my religion'? The simple answer is you'd have to be familiar with my religion, my unique 'flavor' of Christianity to begin to understand why I had to lose it for Christ. You see, I was your average, text book, typical legalist and I didn't know it. A Christian Pharisee. I thought I knew Jesus, but *my religion* was more a worship/reverence for items on the periphery of Christianity rather than for the Savior himself. Where religiosity became the bedrock of hope and security and as a result, the real object of my worship, though I would have vehemently denied such at the time.
If you would have ask me a couple years ago what my hope was in for my salvation I would have said Jesus died for me, yes...but I would have gone on a huge testimony about hope in my obedience in faith, repentance, baptism (emphasis on 'my obeying' rather than the power in our responses which have nothing to do with me but rather the power and truth...the Person behind it all, which is NOT me). I would have greatly emphasized my *response* to the Gospel rather than the actual Gospel itself. Also, great emphasis on the Bible. On the surface that sounds great...this is why my form of legalism was so insidious. Emphasizing the Word of God is good, but what I had was tantamount to 'Bibliolatry'...idolatry by Bible...worship of the Bible and knowing enough information over knowing the Savior Himself. Even enormous wasted energy on finding the perfect translation...I still have family/friends who will read nothing but KJV, not just by preference but actually teaching it is the only Bible one can read and find truth...Biblioatry. Yes, it is serious...and insidious.
In fact, my security was not in grace at all...but in 'standing for truth' which also sounds great until you analyze how that plays out and realize it's *self based*...how much *I* know...what issues I've wrestled with and come out 'right' on...how much Bible I know and how I can use it to prove my point on any number of subjects. I emphasized church worship over everything...even throwing out the biblical teaching that for the Christian all life is a sacrifice of worship. No, worship could only take place on Sunday for that hour...not anywhere else...forget Romans 12:1...we got around it by appealing to bad translation (*shudder*). Getting this 1 hour a week (or 2-3 in the South where Sun nites/Wed nites are mandatory to be considered a 'strong Christian') 'right' was the mark of being good with God. Making sure our *forms* were correct. The subject of our heart being right in worship strangely didn't come up very much if at all...but forms and methods sure did. What this tended to do for many teens was to set up such a contrast between what we do 'at church' and how we live our lives that many youth in our tribe lived your average sinful life at school, during the week...then good, righteous lives at church/church events...thinking they were okay because THEY HAD THE RIGHT ANSWERS...self centered empty religion. Statistically my tribe can expect that about half our youth will leave church all together as they grow up..and we scratch our heads and wonder WHY??? Because the foundation of faith was built on religiosity, not on Jesus. He strangely was in the background, not the center of 'my religion'. I would say it was all about Him...but the subjects of my conversations, the walk of my life, would sadly prove otherwise. A Pharisee and I didn't even know it.
If an objective observer were to say what my tribe's values were based on the subjects we talked about the most, taught on the most, and spent most of our energy hammering it was all based on 'church' and doing it 'right'. How we are so much better than every other denomination out there that just doesn't 'get it'. We patted ourselves on the backs while taking security from railing against others. Never mind our own glaring sins, we got church right...that was what mattered. Our failures were not as important because we got church right...so we got God's stamp of approval...everything else we could just 'work on'.
This was my religion. The one I grew up in. I was born during church conflict and raised w/even more conflict. This mindset breeds division, heartache and everything Jesus taught against. It was a graceless, hopeless, self-centered, idolatrous way of practicing Christianity...but it was my identity. I actually took pride in my knowledge base and being part of an American church heritage known for how much we KNOW. Strange that John said Christians should be known by how much they LOVE but that is sadly not my tribe's reputation...but rather just the opposite. Breaks my heart...in deep ways I cannot even express...even as a child I knew something was wrong, wrong, wrong.
It took a great deal to wake me up. I started to at age 19 and over the years the Lord showed me little by little how much I had to learn. The Spirit within me would recoil at things and nudge me but all too often I became an expert at quenching Him.
Finally when I became convicted that I had successfully boxed the Holy Spirit within me for years and quit fighting Him but rather surrendered to Him...was when I began the process of 'losing my religion'. Christ had to empty me of all things taking the place of Him...my very church identity. My heritage. Where I put so much hope and emphasis. I had to lose it all to gain Truth Himself. But I'm in good company. Paul was a Pharisee...and he expressed it best when he said:
"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." From Philipp. 3
And you know some of the precious brethren who helped me lose my empty religion??? Ones in the same tribe going through the same painful process. Even whole congregations growing to the point that they collectively have said "Enough is enough...we lose our religion to follow Christ". I actually have much much hope for the heritage I come from. I would say the *majority* are waking up and throwing it all off for Christ. Overall there is so much hope. When I think of brethren who have helped me along this journey I am humbled and so appreciative it goes beyond my ability to express with words. They help me and inspire me because they too are going through the fire and flame of growing pains.
My tribe is nearly non-existent in Washington...it is a heavily Southern tradition. This has been a blessing by forcing me even further from my pride in my own heritage. It is the first time I have ventured outside the tribe and what I find is beauty and depth I could have never dreamed of. Truly healthy, well-balanced congregations of God's people do exist. Churches who are not built on the false foundation of self-works but grace and Spirit-works. They are out there. No perfect churches, please don't misunderstand...but the atmosphere of love and grace amidst the sins we are all guilty of and the struggles we each face. Love and grace based...
So my journey has just begun really. I've lost my religion. I've gained Christ. I bask in His Grace alone. A Pharisee no longer...just his sinful child...his own clay pot...surrendered to Him.
How could I say such a thing? I was raised in the Christian faith....how in the world can I say I had to lose 'my religion'? The simple answer is you'd have to be familiar with my religion, my unique 'flavor' of Christianity to begin to understand why I had to lose it for Christ. You see, I was your average, text book, typical legalist and I didn't know it. A Christian Pharisee. I thought I knew Jesus, but *my religion* was more a worship/reverence for items on the periphery of Christianity rather than for the Savior himself. Where religiosity became the bedrock of hope and security and as a result, the real object of my worship, though I would have vehemently denied such at the time.
If you would have ask me a couple years ago what my hope was in for my salvation I would have said Jesus died for me, yes...but I would have gone on a huge testimony about hope in my obedience in faith, repentance, baptism (emphasis on 'my obeying' rather than the power in our responses which have nothing to do with me but rather the power and truth...the Person behind it all, which is NOT me). I would have greatly emphasized my *response* to the Gospel rather than the actual Gospel itself. Also, great emphasis on the Bible. On the surface that sounds great...this is why my form of legalism was so insidious. Emphasizing the Word of God is good, but what I had was tantamount to 'Bibliolatry'...idolatry by Bible...worship of the Bible and knowing enough information over knowing the Savior Himself. Even enormous wasted energy on finding the perfect translation...I still have family/friends who will read nothing but KJV, not just by preference but actually teaching it is the only Bible one can read and find truth...Biblioatry. Yes, it is serious...and insidious.
In fact, my security was not in grace at all...but in 'standing for truth' which also sounds great until you analyze how that plays out and realize it's *self based*...how much *I* know...what issues I've wrestled with and come out 'right' on...how much Bible I know and how I can use it to prove my point on any number of subjects. I emphasized church worship over everything...even throwing out the biblical teaching that for the Christian all life is a sacrifice of worship. No, worship could only take place on Sunday for that hour...not anywhere else...forget Romans 12:1...we got around it by appealing to bad translation (*shudder*). Getting this 1 hour a week (or 2-3 in the South where Sun nites/Wed nites are mandatory to be considered a 'strong Christian') 'right' was the mark of being good with God. Making sure our *forms* were correct. The subject of our heart being right in worship strangely didn't come up very much if at all...but forms and methods sure did. What this tended to do for many teens was to set up such a contrast between what we do 'at church' and how we live our lives that many youth in our tribe lived your average sinful life at school, during the week...then good, righteous lives at church/church events...thinking they were okay because THEY HAD THE RIGHT ANSWERS...self centered empty religion. Statistically my tribe can expect that about half our youth will leave church all together as they grow up..and we scratch our heads and wonder WHY??? Because the foundation of faith was built on religiosity, not on Jesus. He strangely was in the background, not the center of 'my religion'. I would say it was all about Him...but the subjects of my conversations, the walk of my life, would sadly prove otherwise. A Pharisee and I didn't even know it.
If an objective observer were to say what my tribe's values were based on the subjects we talked about the most, taught on the most, and spent most of our energy hammering it was all based on 'church' and doing it 'right'. How we are so much better than every other denomination out there that just doesn't 'get it'. We patted ourselves on the backs while taking security from railing against others. Never mind our own glaring sins, we got church right...that was what mattered. Our failures were not as important because we got church right...so we got God's stamp of approval...everything else we could just 'work on'.
This was my religion. The one I grew up in. I was born during church conflict and raised w/even more conflict. This mindset breeds division, heartache and everything Jesus taught against. It was a graceless, hopeless, self-centered, idolatrous way of practicing Christianity...but it was my identity. I actually took pride in my knowledge base and being part of an American church heritage known for how much we KNOW. Strange that John said Christians should be known by how much they LOVE but that is sadly not my tribe's reputation...but rather just the opposite. Breaks my heart...in deep ways I cannot even express...even as a child I knew something was wrong, wrong, wrong.
It took a great deal to wake me up. I started to at age 19 and over the years the Lord showed me little by little how much I had to learn. The Spirit within me would recoil at things and nudge me but all too often I became an expert at quenching Him.
Finally when I became convicted that I had successfully boxed the Holy Spirit within me for years and quit fighting Him but rather surrendered to Him...was when I began the process of 'losing my religion'. Christ had to empty me of all things taking the place of Him...my very church identity. My heritage. Where I put so much hope and emphasis. I had to lose it all to gain Truth Himself. But I'm in good company. Paul was a Pharisee...and he expressed it best when he said:
"But whatever were gains to me I now consider loss for the sake of Christ. 8 What is more, I consider everything a loss because of the surpassing worth of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord, for whose sake I have lost all things. I consider them garbage, that I may gain Christ 9 and be found in him, not having a righteousness of my own that comes from the law, but that which is through faith in Christ—the righteousness that comes from God on the basis of faith. 10 I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, 11 and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." From Philipp. 3
And you know some of the precious brethren who helped me lose my empty religion??? Ones in the same tribe going through the same painful process. Even whole congregations growing to the point that they collectively have said "Enough is enough...we lose our religion to follow Christ". I actually have much much hope for the heritage I come from. I would say the *majority* are waking up and throwing it all off for Christ. Overall there is so much hope. When I think of brethren who have helped me along this journey I am humbled and so appreciative it goes beyond my ability to express with words. They help me and inspire me because they too are going through the fire and flame of growing pains.
My tribe is nearly non-existent in Washington...it is a heavily Southern tradition. This has been a blessing by forcing me even further from my pride in my own heritage. It is the first time I have ventured outside the tribe and what I find is beauty and depth I could have never dreamed of. Truly healthy, well-balanced congregations of God's people do exist. Churches who are not built on the false foundation of self-works but grace and Spirit-works. They are out there. No perfect churches, please don't misunderstand...but the atmosphere of love and grace amidst the sins we are all guilty of and the struggles we each face. Love and grace based...
So my journey has just begun really. I've lost my religion. I've gained Christ. I bask in His Grace alone. A Pharisee no longer...just his sinful child...his own clay pot...surrendered to Him.
Monday, August 12, 2013
A Conversation with Jesus
"I'm tired, *worn* really..." I whisper w/a deep sigh.
Jesus says: "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
"I'm stressed out...frustrated...feel like I'm barely treading water!" I bellow at full volume.
Jesus says: "Cast all your cares on me, for I care for you".
"I feel fearful, riddled w/anxiety...sleep fails me...the what-if's just keep coming like a flood". I cry out while biting my nails incessantly.
Jesus says "Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself".
"But I feel weak..." I argue.
Jesus says "You can do all things through Me. I will give you *my* strength".
"But I have family and friends who have so many trials to endure...there's cancer, there's loss, there's divorce, there's job problems, money problems..."
Jesus says "In this life you *will* have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world".
"But things are so confusing...how do I know which way to turn, what to believe, where to go, what to do?? There's so much chaos and confusion out there."
Jesus says "*I am* the way, the truth and the life".
"But someday...any day really, I'm gonna DIE...I mean...DEAD, buried, gone".
Jesus says "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die. In fact, I go to prepare a place just for you".
"Jesus, I'm running out of things to complain about."
Jesus says "Ummm....that's kind of the point".
:-)
Jesus says: "Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls."
"I'm stressed out...frustrated...feel like I'm barely treading water!" I bellow at full volume.
Jesus says: "Cast all your cares on me, for I care for you".
"I feel fearful, riddled w/anxiety...sleep fails me...the what-if's just keep coming like a flood". I cry out while biting my nails incessantly.
Jesus says "Do not worry about tomorrow, tomorrow will worry about itself".
"But I feel weak..." I argue.
Jesus says "You can do all things through Me. I will give you *my* strength".
"But I have family and friends who have so many trials to endure...there's cancer, there's loss, there's divorce, there's job problems, money problems..."
Jesus says "In this life you *will* have trouble, but take heart, I have overcome the world".
"But things are so confusing...how do I know which way to turn, what to believe, where to go, what to do?? There's so much chaos and confusion out there."
Jesus says "*I am* the way, the truth and the life".
"But someday...any day really, I'm gonna DIE...I mean...DEAD, buried, gone".
Jesus says "I am the resurrection and the life. The one who believes in me will live, even though they die. In fact, I go to prepare a place just for you".
"Jesus, I'm running out of things to complain about."
Jesus says "Ummm....that's kind of the point".
:-)
Tuesday, August 6, 2013
I Never Knew You
The scene is set. It's a judgment scene. Honestly, it's a scene that has often sent chills down my spine. It's Jesus saying "I never knew you. Away from me, you evildoers!" Evidently this group had an interesting appeal to make to Jesus. It was not a 'have-mercy-on-me-a-sinner' appeal. It was an appeal to their own righteousness...their own good works, their own good deeds evidently even practicing in His name. These folks did not know Jesus. They in fact *never* knew Him. The name they evoked was only a label with no meaning for them. In their minds, it was all about them, not about Him. They felt entitled, as if the Creator of the Universe owned them something.
Now a contrast is set up..."Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit." (I Corin. 12:3) There is using the name of Jesus as simply a label and then there is the heart felt declaration of the person of Christ as LORD. Focus on HIM, not on self. No appeal to self, works, obedience, no appeal to anything having to do with us. An appeal to who HE is. No one can make this appeal without the Spirit enabling such a confession of faith.
When Jesus 'hit them between the eyes' with his declaration he was summing up his point about knowing others by their fruit. They appealed to what they produced on their own in his name. Scripture paints a stark constrast to their superficial reasoning. *We* do not produce fruit. It is the Fruit of the *Spirit*. *He* produces the fruit within us. We merely surrender as the tools He uses. The action is on His part, not our own. That is why we cannot boast. We have no appeal other than the finished work of Christ and His Sufficiency alone.
I am also reminded of the words of Paul when he said "I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." The summary is this: IT IS NOT ABOUT US. It is all about Him...knowing Him...dying with Him...living in Him.
So when my turn comes to stand before the Judge what will my appeal be? It will be the same appeal I make in life...that I will make in death...that I will make for eternity. "Have mercy on me a sinner, apart from you I am nothing...but I *know* you, Oh, Lord...I know the Christ...I rest in YOU alone..."
Now a contrast is set up..."Therefore I want you to know that no one who is speaking by the Spirit of God says, “Jesus be cursed,” and no one can say, “Jesus is Lord,” except by the Holy Spirit." (I Corin. 12:3) There is using the name of Jesus as simply a label and then there is the heart felt declaration of the person of Christ as LORD. Focus on HIM, not on self. No appeal to self, works, obedience, no appeal to anything having to do with us. An appeal to who HE is. No one can make this appeal without the Spirit enabling such a confession of faith.
When Jesus 'hit them between the eyes' with his declaration he was summing up his point about knowing others by their fruit. They appealed to what they produced on their own in his name. Scripture paints a stark constrast to their superficial reasoning. *We* do not produce fruit. It is the Fruit of the *Spirit*. *He* produces the fruit within us. We merely surrender as the tools He uses. The action is on His part, not our own. That is why we cannot boast. We have no appeal other than the finished work of Christ and His Sufficiency alone.
I am also reminded of the words of Paul when he said "I want to know Christ—yes, to know the power of his resurrection and participation in his sufferings, becoming like him in his death, and so, somehow, attaining to the resurrection from the dead." The summary is this: IT IS NOT ABOUT US. It is all about Him...knowing Him...dying with Him...living in Him.
So when my turn comes to stand before the Judge what will my appeal be? It will be the same appeal I make in life...that I will make in death...that I will make for eternity. "Have mercy on me a sinner, apart from you I am nothing...but I *know* you, Oh, Lord...I know the Christ...I rest in YOU alone..."
Thursday, August 1, 2013
Naked and Unashamed
It's the picture of innocence...of an intimacy so close to our Creator that Adam and Eve could literally enjoy an evening stroll beside God Himself...naked and unashamed. No imperfection to mar the picture, no sin to stain the image...no familiar brokenness to destroy the harmony of the Divine with the creation.
Then a new image emerges...the expulsion from God's Garden...life falling into the chasm of death. Only a few pages later we see a man named Moses hiding in a rock in order to just catch a glimpse of God's back...knowing a face to face encounter would kill him. The intimate walk gone. Innocence traded for fig leaves. Clothed in shame.
Not so long ago I stood before the Lord...covered in filthy rags. Pathetic. Repulsive. An ensemble of self-reliance, arrogance, and hope put in all the wrong places. Faith on a crumbling foundation of my own sufficient obedience. Security in being 'right'. He stripped me bare.
I fell on my face before Him, empty hands raised above...in helpless shame and vulnerability. He rose from the throne of Heaven itself and reached down to raise me up. Enveloped by the King. Robed in His Righteousness alone. Intimacy restored. Death swallowed up by life.
It is in the very imagery of baptism itself. Immersed in Christ Himself. Taking on his likeness, sharing in His Divine Nature...putting on the Royal Apparel of the King of Kings. He makes us His Bride, His cherished possession. We are his.
For those of us who enjoy the blessing of a covenant marriage on this earth...do you remember when you first experienced intimacy w/your beloved? Naked and unashamed? The wonder of a closeness that in God's Design is meant to be shared with only 1 person for a lifetime? Remember that? It is the only relationship God compares to the intimacy He designs for his chosen ones, His elect, His Beloved. The wonder we feel in our earthly intimate relationship is the greatest joy we experience on earth, yet it sadly pales in the brilliancy of the intimacy we have offered to us in Christ.
I bask in the wonder, the joy, the mystery...of being naked and unashamed.
Then a new image emerges...the expulsion from God's Garden...life falling into the chasm of death. Only a few pages later we see a man named Moses hiding in a rock in order to just catch a glimpse of God's back...knowing a face to face encounter would kill him. The intimate walk gone. Innocence traded for fig leaves. Clothed in shame.
Not so long ago I stood before the Lord...covered in filthy rags. Pathetic. Repulsive. An ensemble of self-reliance, arrogance, and hope put in all the wrong places. Faith on a crumbling foundation of my own sufficient obedience. Security in being 'right'. He stripped me bare.
I fell on my face before Him, empty hands raised above...in helpless shame and vulnerability. He rose from the throne of Heaven itself and reached down to raise me up. Enveloped by the King. Robed in His Righteousness alone. Intimacy restored. Death swallowed up by life.
It is in the very imagery of baptism itself. Immersed in Christ Himself. Taking on his likeness, sharing in His Divine Nature...putting on the Royal Apparel of the King of Kings. He makes us His Bride, His cherished possession. We are his.
For those of us who enjoy the blessing of a covenant marriage on this earth...do you remember when you first experienced intimacy w/your beloved? Naked and unashamed? The wonder of a closeness that in God's Design is meant to be shared with only 1 person for a lifetime? Remember that? It is the only relationship God compares to the intimacy He designs for his chosen ones, His elect, His Beloved. The wonder we feel in our earthly intimate relationship is the greatest joy we experience on earth, yet it sadly pales in the brilliancy of the intimacy we have offered to us in Christ.
I bask in the wonder, the joy, the mystery...of being naked and unashamed.
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