The car accident was not really a bad one. More of a fender bender chain reaction. I was on my way home from Tyler Junior College and it was lightly raining. Roads were slick. I was stopped on a hill at a red light. Suddenly the car behind me lurched, hitting me, and rolled my car into the car in front of me. What I didn't see was another car had not realized until the last second that a red light was there so he had caused the whole 4 car fender bender by ramming the car behind me. It was like vehicle dominos. Thankfully, no one was seriously injured.
So I got out of my car to check on the gal behind me who had endured the hardest hit of all of us. The guilty man behind her stayed off to himself, evidently afraid to speak to us. ;-) The gal in front of me was barely tapped so she pulled over and stayed in her car waiting for the police.
The woman behind me seemed tense at first...I mean, we had just had a car accident. I wasn't sure what to say besides asking her how she was and somehow we began talking about how strange it was to be in a wreck while sitting at a red light. I remember being strangely lighthearted with her and then she smiled at me and said "Oh, I know who you remind me of!" I guess I should pause and tell you, my bright red hair was in braids that day. "Anne of Green Gables!". "Oh, my goodness, you *are* Anne!". I began to laugh and we then spent the next 30 minutes sharing our mutual faith with one another. I can't even tell you how the conversation went from Anne to Jesus. It just did. Somehow when two people who love Jesus collide on the road and have to wait for the police, this is what happens. A new, sweet friendship.
Thing was, she was not my favored 'brand' of Christian. She was farther down the charismatic spectrum than I was. She used words like 'anointed' and 'spirit led'. Made me uncomfortable. We would meet up a couple more times because I invited her to my church...you know...the right church...the right brand. Figured I'd get her straightened out. In my church tribe we loved to call people like her an "Apollos". You know...ones that believe but ones we must teach the way more perfectly so they could be as sound as us. ;-)
Looking back on the couple times we met up after the accident...I have so many deep regrets. She wanted so share such beautiful things about her journey. I was around 21 and she at least 8-10 yrs older. Still single and testifying to how God was using her season of singlehood to grow her faith and service and teach her such things. All I could see however, was she was not in my tribe.
So during our few conversations I was only half listening. Not really listening to her at all. I was too concerned with teaching her the 'right way'. I questioned her about her baptism. She verified she was indeed baptized by immersion as an adult but that was not enough for me. You see, in my tribe we were very very picky about baptism and if someone thought they were saved at the point of faith instead of when they were immersed...well, the baptism didn't count. That person could be lost on a technicality. For eternity. It disturbed us deeply. We lost more sleep over these 'lost believers' than over the 'world's lost'. Somehow, we grieved more because if they could just see things our way, then they could be spared Hell on a technicality. So I kept harping on baptism.
I remember the look of total confusion on her face. She had been sharing deep truths of God's working in her life. Suddenly she realized I didn't think she was saved. She seemed genuinely confused and bewildered. She kept telling me she was baptized so let's move on. Okay, so now I wanted to talk to her about this whole spiritual gifts issue that she obviously didn't understand as well as me, since you know...she was using words like 'anointed/anointing'. That angle of the conversation didn't go very well either. She wanted a spiritual friendship...I wanted to interrogate the poor sister.
She even went to church with me once since, you know, I told her it was the one true New Testament church. She somehow didn't see it, even though I thought it was so obvious how good and true and right we were. ;-)
Looking back on our few conversations...I talked right past her. I didn't listen to her. I didn't see her. I didn't get to know her. All I saw was an opportunity to share my 'rightness'. I could have had fellowship and a new and lasting friendship. Instead, I confused the Gospel with peripheral issues and destroyed a friendship in the process.
It was crazy. I kept running into her in town. At Hobby Lobby. At the Scroll Christian Bookstore. At the grocery store. God kept calling us together. I thought it was so I could teach her. In fact it was just the opposite. God was teaching ME. He was showing me the boundaries I had always so clearly defined...were not mine to define.
The last time I ran into her, I saw her from a distance at the Scroll Bookstore. I should have ran up and hugged her and invited her out to lunch. Instead I walked away. She just doesn't get it, I told myself.
It was I who didn't get it. Biggest tragedy of all: I don't even remember her name.
